X-mas Music.

Did you know? Did you know that X-music is proof that the devil exists, and hates us all? I do know.

Yep. I am working at Toasty's again, and on the radio? 103.5FM. Those of you in Southern California know that during the holiday, KOST FM plays Xmas music 24/7 for the ENTIRE month of December. I work 5 hour shifts, and, as of next week, even more. I apprently did such a good job on my first day back, that my new Toasty's boss wants to give me more hours. I rawk.

In other news, I am busy. Three jobs. Again. Tis the season, huzzah.

That's bout it. I love my Nine.

That is all.

And if I didn't say so, X-mas music is the devil.

Pirates. The Rocks Stars of Ren Faire... and Chili's.

Today was without a doubt one of the best days I have had at Ren Faire. Definitely Top Three. The other two have to be the day I kissed Nine for the first time at LobsterFest, as well as the day I promised Nine a sunset at Ojai together, which has become an annual event.

The weather was glorious, the faire relatively busy, but not overcrowded. We reconnected with some old friends, and did a 'faire' bit (pun, hehe) of networking, passing out and receiving of business and contact info cards.

The Pirates Charles is the most awesome Ren Faire band evar! We have their CD, and it is our Official Ren Faire Roadrip Music Choice™. We hung out with them today, in true groupie style, Nine being once again the Coolest Girlfriend evar, and indulging me in my fandom. One of the TPC is a WoW fan, as am I, and was very flattered that I had named one of my characters Talderoy, after their song of the same name. At several points throughout the faire, we crossed paths, and they had time always to stop and chat for a bit, talking about their songs, WoW, letting me into the band if I sold them Nine, etc. Basically the usual. But when these guys are on the stage, they are Rock Stars. No kidding. The crowd loves them, and they know how to work it. Pirates are Rocks Stars of Ren Faire.

After faire, we head to Chili's to have some yummy post-Ren Faire Comestibles. In Pirate garb, of course, thankyousomuch. At one point I go to the Little Captain's Room to drain the bilge, if you know what I mean. I swagger down the aisle, and ham it up a bit. Hello, attention whore? Why yes. Yes I am. On the way back, a gentleman asks me for a moment of my time, and explains that his son has never met a real pirate before, and if I would say hello. YES! I WOULD LOVE TO! I turn to the young boy, and in a rather good Jack Sparrow immitation (for me that is. I suck usually, but it seemed good tonight) introduced myself with a bunch of grandiose and self-proclaimed titles, Esq. I asked his name, and offered my hand to shake. He became a little embarrased, and declined politely. Equally politely, I informed him that I would shake my own hand with myself for him, on his behalf. It was a pleasure to make my aquaintence. So, 60 seconds of my time gone, and I came back to our table to a waiting Nine with a grin on my face. I think that little tet a tet made my day almost as much, if not more, then it did the young lad's.

So, all in all. A really wonderful day. A beautiful day, Ren Faire, Ren Folk, Fun things, and as always, the Piece de Resistance, my lovely and beloved Nine, without which this wonderful day would have been nowhere near as fun, nor memorable.

Love you, baby. Always and forever, with every inch of my weasly black heart.

Community Service Day 02 - 190 hours remaining

Today was Drama Day at the Rehab Ministry. First off, there was a major 4 car wreck right on the corner, and secondly, I managed to give myself a fairly nasty scratch with a pick-axe.

I was tasked with breaking up some hard-packed dirt, and to weed the area afterwards. They gave me a pick-axe when the shovel failed to offer any help. Well, above my head, there was a low-strung phone line, and on a down-swing, I caught the cord, which then rubberbanded the pick backwards, and the sharp end gave me a good scrath down my side, near my right kidney.

They send me home after a lot of paperwork, and gave me credit for a whole day's work. w00t!

I have since told all my friends and Nine that I was beaten over the head, and woke up in a bathtub full of ice, missing a kidney. So far, the alternate story has met with dubious glares, and downright denunciations of the veracity of my claims. It was funny, though.

Community Service Day 01 - 195 hours remaining

Yesterday was my first day of Community Service. I am assigned to a drug and alcohol rehabilitation ministry in Los Angeles. Yep. Drugs. Alcohol. And God. Just shoot me now.

Although it wasn't that bad. It is full of friendly black people that use Mr. and Mrs. infront of their (and mine) first names. Not Mr. Mac Guiness, but Mr. Aengus. And not a single person bothered to call my by my rank. Hello? Captain? Jedi Master? Nothing.

And what did I do for my first 5 hours? Garden. Which isn't that bad. I got to play in the dirt, they fed me, the cook kept bringing me glasses of cold water and then insisting that I take 20-30 minute breaks. That wasn't too bad.

A nice thing happened. At the end of the day, as I was finishing up, a humming bird flew into the bush next to me, and began drinking from the flowers. I was standing arm's legnth from the bush. The bird looked at me, then continued feeding, two feet from me. It was kind of neat, as I have never been that close to a humming bird before. I could actually see it's tiny little wings as it buzzed about. Pretty nifty. The bird and I watched each other go about out business for about ten minutes, or until every last flower on the bush had been drank from.

I wonder what I will be doing next time...

Stay tuned!

Community Service, Day 0 - 200hours remaining.

So yesterday I drove up to Gardena to start my community service. The guy I report to there, Mr. Simpson, is a pretty cool guy. I will be working at a some kind of Alcohol/Drug Rehab Ministry place. Seems all right. I was originally planning on going to my first day of actual vollunteer work today, but then I got a call back from my 2nd Boat Job. Job Interview! w00t!

The Buzz at the Catalina Boats is that if you get called in for an interview, you pretty much have the job. So anyways, internets, wish me luck! I will continue to post my progress at the Community Service and stuff..

While I was in the SF Valley this week doing court shit, I took the opportunity to drive by my old house in Woodland Hills. Now, I no that Madame moved out of there a long time ago, almost a year or more. I expected to walk up the driveway and look up at the house, and see unfamiliar cars in the driveway, unfamiliar furniture and decorations adorning the yard. Instead, I saw this:


The Faire Table Jimi and I built for the booth, destroyed by the elements. The sink in the background was the faire sink.


This sad pile of memories contains the base of the Faire Shower, as well as some of the shelves from the booth.


Foreground: A table from the store in San Pedro I built. Background: A part of a bar that Madame worked at in her younger years that we salvaged at Lake Arrowhead.


This one hurts a bit. The sign was used at Koroneburg, when I ran the Makoto machine. I hand-carved that sign. It is resting on one of the hanging shelves I build for the original booth, which I also helped build. Why is everything disposable in Madame's life? That isn't stuff. It's memories.

I am glad to have Madame out of my life, and wonderfully happy with Nine in it, do not get me wrong. But I like to think that I made the best out of a bad situation while I was there. I had some good times. Faire, the shop in San Pedro, and with Madame aside, the lifestyle was kind of cool. I have some good memories. It hurts to see the memories disrespected in this way. Just reenforces what kind of person Madame is. To just up and leave, and not even bother to remove all of her belongings.

I don't know how, but in the year she has been out of that house, it has apparently changed hands twice, and never been occupied. The neighboring house is selling for 1.1 million. The broker I talked to is willing to settle for less than $700,000 for this house. It is a good house. I wish someone I knew was looking for a home. I would totally love to visit that house again...

I almost want to IM Madame and ask her WTF. I mean, seriously. It's fucked up. Not pictured was the remains of the booth her brother and I designed and built in front of the garage. So sad...

"Keep up the good work."

I had court this morning. Probation violation. Well, technically it a hearing to determine if my technical violation was in fact a violation. Confused? Don't worry, you aren't alone. Long story short, I came to court with a letter from my Probation Officer saying that I was in compliance, and the Judge looked at the letter, then smiled, found me not in violation, and told me to "keep up the good work."

So I went home feeling quite relieved. Since monday I have had an unfortunate combination of High stress levels and Cholula hot sauce. Which, in case you didn't know, equals Gastrointestinal Armageddon. Nine told me that if I didn't stop tossing and turning and emitting Death from my ass in gaseous form, she was going to demote me to the couch.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that that last paragraph was inaccurate. I apprently emitted no Death in gaseous form, and instead, it was my snoring that was offensive, along with tossing and turning due to extreme stress. The tossing and turning has subsided, but apparently I am still snoring a little bit. Also, I wasm't threatned with expulsion from The Bedroom. Hmm. So, I retract my last paragraph, and replace it with this one. Thank you.
END EDIT

On the way home from the Courthouse, I stopped at Toasty's and t3h C0ff33 shop, and reapplied at both. hopefully, I can get hired back with them, and make rent. My current parttime job is working, but it is sporadic at best.

Floating Drunk Sex

Yep, we had a pair of drunks on the boat tonight, and they did in fact go to the top deck and attempt to have sex in full view of at least 8 other people. I had the dubious honor of breaking up said marinated-yet-amorous couple. At least they weren't too terribly upset about being told to take a cold shower. So, it was just another funny thing that happened.

In other news, in the morning I am taking the Camaro to the Parents' house to get a new driveshaft thrown on, as well as some aftermarket, high-performance parts thrown in, because they happen to be taking up place in the garage! w00t! Keep in mind, this was the car that I was given, for free, by my parents, who rawk.

Ojai Pirate festival, September, 2007

Welcome to Pirate Faire, featuring Aengus and Charity.


Aren't we lovely?

I'll cut joo, mang!



She's got no bloomers on! Hussy!




After the faire, a little worn out but still excited!

We had a great time. And we will be going back next week, and we will be employed at faire. My good friend Amerigo has given us gainful employment for Saturday, and we shall not miss an opportunity to go back, and have more fun, and make merry with more peoples.

We ran into the daughter of my ex, and while she was skeptical towards us at first, but then apparently decided that we were okay, because we were there, and her mom was in fact, almost 2000 miles away having absolutely nothing to do with her or anything, for that matter.

So we ended up getting drug all over faire, and being shown cool things, and meeting cool people. And reconnecting, apparently. I look forward to faire again, so much. I miss this.

Nine and I are awesome!

You know why? Because I thought this would be a good idea, and Nine blurted out she loved me because of it:

We were at the warehouse for Lady and the Fool, and they had this there, and I had a flash of inspiration. It would fit on my gear shifter on the Camaro. Behold his glory. Wouldn't you say he has "shifty" eyes?

As I type this, I am already dreading the beating about my head I shall receive for that bit of wordplay. Nine loves detests my use of puns. We also bought new pirate garb, and such, and I found a really cool doublet as a change of pace from my vest. Check it out..

Original Vest.


New Doublet.

And, that puppy is reversable. The other side is a sun-faded reddish-burgandy-ish colour. Pre-stressed for my convenience.
Faire is next week, people. Expect pictures and stories galore!! Yar!!!!!

On a side note, I got the doublet at less then half price, because the lady who runs the shop hit Nine's car. But all's well that ends well.

The Joys of Domestic Living.

Being a boyfriend to Nine is the most wonderful, rewarding experience of my life. I feel loved everyday, and I am treated like a king. However, it is not job without pitfalls. Being a boyfriend in general can be a hazardous occupation. With questions like, "Does this (insert random article of clothing) make my (insert corresponding body part) look fat?" Answer: Change the subject, FAST. That question can be the death of a relationship. Thankfully, Nine knows for sure that I love her, and find her body completely irresistable. So, while I don't have to dodge questions of an akward nature too often, I do however have to be on-call 24-7 to do Guy Stuff™. Such stuff includes being pulled out of bed a 5:30am to remove a very large and very much alive potato-bug from the kitchen before it eats my girlfriend and the cats. According to Nine, it would have killed her, the cats, and then me while I slept had she not strategically alerted me to the menace, motivated in no way by fear of six-legged creatures the size of apricot pits.

Once alerted to this threat to Domestic Security, I proceeded to jump into action. Armed only with Nekkid, I proceeded into the kitchen, where I saw... nothing. Being as it was 5:30 in the morning, I had no contacts in, and my visibility is roughly 12 inches. Which is how close I got to the damn bug before could see it. Upon establishing visual contact, I went to grab a shoe box to scoop up the invader. It hadn't moved yet, so I assumed it was dead. Imagine my surprise when the potato-bug began evasive maneuvers at warp 6!

Long story short, or at least not quite as long, I caught him, and set him lose outside. Despite being the most ugly creatures on the planet, I couldn't squish it. I had no shoes on. Anyways, that is what I do. I defend my household any time of the day or night.

I rawk.

Suicide by Camaro

I love my car. not nearly as much as I love my dear sweet Nine, but more then I love the 30 mins it took to get to work on t3h Sc00t0rz. There is the possibility that money will be spent on the Camaro to make it look a little nicer. Like a paint-job, and detail work, possibly. Not anytime in the near future, but I won't discount it.

However, none of this will come to pass if these Two-Wheeled Fucktards People on Bicycles don't keep trying to kill themselves on my front bumper. TWICE on the way home tonight, two seperate idiots were flying down the wrong side of a dark residential street, getting ready to fly into my bumper as I try to make a creful right-hand turn onto said dark residential street. Last thing I expect to see is some hombre rocketing straight at me at Mach 2.

Assholes.

To you two I say, "Next time I am NOT slamming on my brakes!"

That is all.

Hell, as in "Hot as..."

It is FUCKING HOT, people! My poor, half-naked girlfriend is melting on the couch. On a normal occasion, my girlfriend being any kind of naked is a good thing, but because of this infernal heat, she does not want to put out for fear of The Sweaty. I also fear The Sweaty. I have to leave for work in a few minutes, and the prospect of rolling into work looking like Chris Farley after a Decathalon doesn't appeal to me.

In case I forgot to mention, it is rather hot in San Pedro today. And yesterday, and the day before. I think Hell has sprung a leak, and it is pooling in my living room.

My only consolation is that out on the water, where I work, it is GORGEOUS out. I look forward to this evening, with the only exception being that I can't enjoy it with my sweetheart.

4 Wh33lz

Well, shortly after my post, my scooter's throttle cable snapped, and I was without a vehicle. Assuming in fact that you call a glorified moped with an engine with half the HP of a lawnmower a vehicle. But I am not bitter. I haven't posted about this till now because until now there was frantic calls made by Yours Truly attempting to find a part to fix said 1/2 a lawnmower. Then two days ago, I got a call from my mom.

"How would you like the Camaro?"

Shiggity-shwhat you say?

Yep. A '93 Camaro. 5-speed, hehe. free. Cuz my parents rawk. And this was offered even before they knew the scooter was dead. They were trying to unload it, and rather then sell it, they thought of me.

My twisted, crispy black heart, wherever it is, is probably melting with joy.

And for your viewing entertainment:



It is in need of a little mechanical work, and trip to Ye Olde Detailer's Shoppe™, however, it runs, and it will mean I won't freeze in the winter.

Jesus is Watching You.

At my work, every once in a while, I get stuck doing a camp run. A camp run is basically picking up or dropping off some form of boy scout/summer camp group off on the Island. Not a big deal. Not fun, usually, but not a big deal. Highlights of an average camp run usually are as follows. 5-6 bags per child, weighing approximately the same as fully grown Blue Whale. Multiply that by 200 (the amount of kids/young adults we bring on at a time). Sprinkle that with boorish behaviour.

Today was a little special. We had the God Squad!™* on the Boat today. Now you may think Christian kids are well behaved and such. Maybe at church, when they think Jesus is watching them. But on my boats, they are little pimply bags of Pure Evil.

But today I kind of lost it on them. Nothing bad, but I decided to stop being polite. I had had enough. One of them was mouthing off to me after I told them to stop jumping, and I looked at him, and said loud enough for him and his friends to hear, "Jesus would not approve."

I said this in a deadpan, with no hint as to whether or not I was being sarcastic or holy.

Jaws hit the deck, people. And the kid walked away. calmly, quietly. Defeated.

Score.

So that is my new catchphrase on the God Squad!™ boats. It solves all my problems through confusion and mild offense.

*God Squad!™ is what we call the Christian Camps when they come on our boats. Why? Because we are assholes, and we can.

Work...

I don't want to go...

That is all.

The Bible...

A friend of mine related in her post about some Retards special people dressed as superheroes (underwear on the outside and all) for Jesus. She questioned them about smiting, to which they had no idea. Never heard of Smiting? Christians? WTF?!?!?!1?!?

I came across this picture years ago, and now is the perfect time to use it, I think. Take a look at the new Surgeon's Geneneral Warning on the Bible

Late..

It's late. I got home from work about half an hour ago, and wasn't quite ready to turn in.

Today was an interesting day. I got a job offer in Hawaii, and also got a free Spiderco Knife, worth probably somewhere around $100. Nice. A security guard for a floating club that docks near my boat is a friend of mine, and he confiscated it off of some guy trying to sneak it aboard the club. He knew I was in need of a new knife, and he gave it to me. Pretty sweet. And all I do is give him and his wife free coffee every Saturday night. Nice people. He is being recalled to the service. The Navy. Very sad. His hair is almost as long as mine.

I called Nine about the job offer. Not because I wanted particularly to take the job. Going to Hawaii would put a serious ding in my plans to become a doctor, make much moneys, and buy many fancy things for Nine that she doesn't need. I think I upset her a bit, or at least confused her. I was excited. Not about the job, but about the offer. I guess I was excited by the thought that if I wanted to, I could go. But that doesn't mean that I want to.

I am completely happy where I am at this point in my life. Well, completely happy with my Nine. I am content where I am financially, and educationally, only because I am on the road to bigger and better things there. With Nine, I am already at the top, and I have no desire to be anywhere else. Hawaii may be nice, but I imagine it would be pretty damned boring after the shiny wore off. I mean, islands people. Just a handful of them. In the middle of the largest ocean on the planet. I am a lover of the Road Trip. Can't have them on an island that only takes an hour to cross.

Perhaps I will vacation there one day. But I shall not work there, nor shall I live there. Quirky though it is, San Pedro is my home. Nine is my home.

I am home.

"Would you like a side of Culture with that?"

Tonight Nine and I went to the local Coco's to dine out and enjoy an evening of delcious yet affordable victuals. While we were waiting for our comestibles to arrive, we happened to take notice of a young couple sitting in the booth next to us. I couldn't see the age of the girl, as she was facing away from us, but I imagine she was about 18. The young man was definitely around that age. No big deal.

As they started talking, I could here what they were talking about. Young Dude was explaing Opera to his date. Yep. Opera. He was explaing such things as to why Italian is the preferred language for Operas, and describing in great deal his last trip to the Opera. For her part, she seemed interested, if not as knowledgeable as Young Dude.

So there you have it. The Youth of Today isn't all bad. Just mostly.

Why I love days off...

I love mornings off, because after a wonderful morning having t3h S3x with my girlfriend Nine, nothing make the day start off right then having our recuperation nap interrupted by the eruption of craziness all over the Entire Complex across the alley.

I was ready to call cops, I swear. There was Dude yelling at the top of his lungs, Chick yelling back, and somewhere in the middle of this, multiple children screaming. It was the opinion of Nine that the children were in a seperate apartment from the fighting, but I think next time I will let CPS ant the Cops figure it all out. Because I am betting as soon as those fools show up, the party will end. FAST.

Cops can usually be counted on to be the least fun people to have at party, if they are on duty.

And now that I have no sleep, it is time to go to work... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Work...

I have nothing against my job. In fact, I like this job better then just about any other job I have ever had. Up until today, I really didn't have much to say about my fellow employees, but today, they did rise up and Unite under a banner of Stupid.

First was the call at 10am telling me I was suppose to be at work at 10:15am. I rush to get ready, call my boss to tell him I will be late and to find someone to work my night shift, and am on my way to the Scooter when I get a call back. Oops. Right day, wrong week. Wrong week???? Shit... fine. I settle down, relax and stuff..

My evening shift rolls around. I head out to work to find out that the boat I was supposed to be on isn't even running today. They had over 7 hours to call me and tell me not to show up, but did they? No. And it was hot today. Sweaty-balls hot. So, I drove all the way out there, and all the way back home.

Thank goodness, my lovely wonderful girlfriend had food waiting for me when I got home. She knows how to make everything all better. I love her so much..

For the love of All Things Technological..

We have DSL!!!! Finally. Big deal, you say. Yes, says I. Because it was hard enough to go about ordering it, what with the finances, and stuff. But when I finally ordered it, it didn't hurt as bad as I thought. However, the installation was another story. Apparently the setup with the disk and stuff didn't work, and so I had to spend an hour on phone with {shudder} Tech Support. The first guy tried to tell me that it was the fault of Windows Vista™. It wasn't. I demanded a second opinion, and That Dude was a helpful MoFo, yo. Within ten minutes, we had the router configured maually from my laptop, and now both computers that are currently in use in the House of Nine™ are both DSL capable, and ready to rock at a High Rate of Fucken Speed!

We rox.. To celebrate, I downloaded this..

Scorpions - The Zoo.

I have been rocking out since then..

Ring around the Collar?

Do you remember way back when, it seemed that every laundry detergent under the sun promised to eliminate Ring Around the Collar? Where are those laundry detergents now?Because my work shirts have the worst case of RAtC. Even when freshly washed, dried, and hung in the closet, there is a RAtC so dark as to look like I haven't washed the shirts since my first day on the job. It is unfortunate.

Now, did the masses stop caring about there RAtC, and am I just alone in my desire for clean looking collars? Or is the truth closer to the fact that those detergents probably didn't do a damn thing about RAtC, and finally stopped advertising that they did? I can't remember. Back then, I was watching Transformers, and thinking to myself, "What a great live action movie that will make someday."

Damn, people...

...but I got the hottest girlfriend ever. EVER. And did I mention she is quite aw3som3 in t3h b3dr00m? Oh, yes.

Portrait of a Bad Day™

Today class, we shall discuss how a Bad Day™ operates. Bad Days™ generally follow a pattern of Bad to Worse. Spectacularly Bad Days™ can progress from Bad to Worse to "Please Shoot Me Twice in the Head."

Step-by-step, this is a Bad Day.

Step 1: We begin the previous night, or in this test case, 1:30am. Set you alarm clock to 6pm instead of 6am. Neglect to notice.

Step 2: Wake up at 5:30 am to pee, and then, despite a feeling of foreboding, lay back down, confident your alarm clock will wake you up, because, damnit, 1/2 an hour cuddling with t3h girlfriend is needed.

Step 3: Said girlfriend wakes you up at 6:45am, 15 minutes before you are due to clock in at work, which is located 30 minutes away. Do the math and scream.

Step 4: Arrive at work 15 minutes late, feeling horrible for draggin the girlfriend to Long Beach to drive you to work because your scooter will never make it fast enough.

Step 5: Find out your boat captain is the Boss of your Boss. (Vice President of a company)

Step 6: Skillfully avoid being seen by your boss while you are working, and only let him detect you when you stop to drink coffee, thus giving the impression that you are lazy (high five).

Step 7: Have a crew meeting where the specific points of topic are how to (a.)load first-class passengers, and (b.)tie up the boat in Catalina.

Step 8: Proceed to attempt to tie up boat correctly three times before succeeding.

Step 9: Completely Screw up loading of First Class Passengers

Step 10: You are in charge of all the idiots that screwed up Steps 8 & 9.*

This has been a Bad Day™. From there it can only get better, as in, due to a scheduling SNAFU, there was an extra person on the boat after the first run, of which I was scheduled to do 2. So I was able to pull rank and bail without seeming like I was bailing. I hope.



*See "Shit Rolls Downhill," but in this case, only as far as me.

Blarg.

I called in sick today at work, traded my shift out because of some problem I had with my stomach last night that felt better this morning when Nine went to work, but flared up with disatrous effect at about 11am. I am hungry, but rather frightened at the thought of handing more ammunition over to my clearly antaganostic digestive system.

I have gone to work with a fever before, headaches, and other ills, but having a barfy-type™ issues on the boat is a no-no for me. After all, I have a reputation as the Unsinkable Master D™ to uphold.

To my baby...

Sweety, you are so wonderful to me. I honestly wonder if I deserve someone as wonderful as you. You put up with my Alzheimers, my horrible hours at work, and my show that you hate, and yet you still come bring me and my crew dinner at work. You truly are a wonderful woman, and I have never been so happy as I have been this last year. I only hope I am even half as good to you as you are to me.

Love,

Me

Gas...

Ran out of gas on the way to work. Again. You think I would notice such things. Oh well.

In other news, my baby bro is graduating from High School on Wednesday. That is pretty cool. Makes me feel old, but I am proud of him. Only one of my siblings is currently enrolled in college right now, I think. I hope to join him by the end of the year. I am getting tired of stagnating..

When Piracy doesn't pay...

Nine fell asleep a little early on the couch today, and so I pulled out the trusty Laptop, with which I surf the internet on waves of pirated Wi-fi. Only to behold that the Wi-fi that I normally pirate from the neighbor is down today. Can't whoever is paying for this stuff pay for some decent service?

Of course you all realise that I fully know how bad that sounds. I am not really angry. I kind of want to get my own wi-fi, so I can reset the router when it does this, instead of waiting for whoever ahs the internet to do it. And that passes for news around here.

oh, yeah, and pineapple teriyaki is the bomb, but next time, I need to leave the Chik'n strips out of it next time. Maybe more pineapple... mmm...

The Late Late Shift with Black Aengus!

It is 2am people. I got home about 1:30am. My shift was supposed to be over at 12:30am. However, shorty after leaving the Island to head home for the night, we wrapped something around both props, causing the boat to vibrate so bad we thought she would shake apart. The solution? 1/3 speed all the way hom, not even hitting dock until almost 11:45pm... grr. Oh well. Could have been worse. I could have been thrown back in jail again.

Spoiled biatch heiress finally gettin' some justice, yo.

Update...

I am not dead. In fact, if I were dead, I would not be currently posting to my blog.

I have been busy of late, however, and while that isn't much of an excuse for not posting, it is all the excuse I have. I have gotten more training at work, and now work on a 9th boat, that doesn't go to Catalina, but instead cruises the local marinas and such. Nice.

I also am now the proud owner of a Big Bag of Elk™. I have to full elk furs, tanned, which were given to me free. Why? Because the giver knew that I was one of "those faire-people," who would have 1,632 uses for a Big Bag of Elk™. Use #1? Wearing the largest of the two furs like a Headdress, in the alley, grunting and shuffling about, occasionally anouncing, "Krunk make fire!" for about 10 minutes.

About a year ago, there was noises made by the Pirates that there was to be a Guild forming. These furs might make good guild deco, or if not, we shall make effects out of them.

I still haven't seen PotC 3 yet... Maybe this weekend...

First Falwell, maybe Bush next?

Well, it has finally happened. Jerry Falwell has finally died. Jerry Falwell, to refresh your memory, is the person who accused gays, lesbians, even People for the American Way, for being responsible for the Sept.11 attacks. He said that God was punishing America. While he later apologized for these statements, I don't think he meant it. That man has mongered more hate than any other individual I can think of, save Hitler and W. Bush. Maybe it is insensitive of me, and maybe I will rot in a hell for what I am about to say, but I think it is damn time that Falwell can no longer poison people's ways of thinking. I don't care if people believe what I believe or not. But I do care when someone spews hate for no reason than to further their own personal agenda.

Good Night, Jerry. May your God have mercy on your soul.

BEST. SHOW. EVAH!

On the boats where I work, we have Satelite TV. Ha. But wait. There's more! On said Sattelite TV, yesterday were reruns of AMERICAN GLADIATORS!!!!

Man that was great. I almost forgot to work, I was having so much nostalgic 90's fun! That show is soooo bad that is has completely orbited around the earth, appearing from the opposite direction as awesome!

Hehe.

Too damn hot..

It is fucking hot these last couple days. and we have no A/C. This is bad, but as we have no D/C, either, I cannot be cool or rock out.

Strangest dream...

You won't believe this dream I had last night. It had ME shaking my head. And of everyone I know, I am the most well-versed in my particular brand of insanity.

I dreamt I was buying a motorcycle. I was taking it for a test ride, but I was riding up twisty mountain roads, like up in Woodland Hills, or something. Get back to my house (which is completely different from any real houses I have been in, past or present, as well as not resembling any of my recurring 'dream houses'), and I find that I am no longer riding a motorcycle, but driving a 1950's British Limosine. A whole grip of Football Jocks get out, and proceed to cause a problem while I try to hose out the car. I get into a shouting match with one of the jocks while I am removing my nozzle from the hose, and flattening it out (like a fire hose). He then takes the hose, which mysteriously has a nozzle on it agan and is hooked up to the spigot, and hose me down as I walk away. I remember the water being lukewarm. I walk up the building which is now a classroom on a school campus, and let myself in. My highschool band teacher is there, along with a grip of adults I know, watching a movie in the dark. They snicker as I walk in sopping wet and sit down....

And then I woke up. Fully refreshed and wide awake. for like the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like lazing in bed. I was energized today. I even went to they gym with my neighbor to go swimming. I might even get a low-income membership there. That pool is bomb.

Aside from the restful properties that madness obviously brings, I can tell where some of the dreams elements came from.

The purchase of a motorcycle: I was at a cycle shop yesterday getting new brakes on the Scoot, and was looking at some larger some larger scooters.

Removing the nozzle and flattening the hose: At work, I have to wash the boats down, and we all own our own nozzles, so we remove them after we are done. The flattening part is from when we use the fire hoses on the boat, we have to flatten them and remove the water and air from the hose before rolling it back up.


The various people I knew in the classroom were all people I knew or know. I don't get any of the rest, such as the Magical Mystery bike-that-was-a-limo. Weird.

Any ideas? Would love to hear more.

Happy Belly..

I don't mean to brag (yes I do), but I made some pretty awesome Stuffed Bell Peppers tonight, if I do say so myself. And it was about 80% my own recipe. I just looked at another recipe for approximate cooking times, and fun stuff like that. It came out better than I had hoped. Nine liked it too, which makes me happy.

All I have to do now is clean up the kitchen tomorrow morning when I get up, before I head to Orange County to fix my scooter. Oh boy!

I will have to make that one again sometime soon.

Yep.

Rumors of my recent alien abdction have been greatly exaggerated...

Hello, Internets. How are you? Very good. It has been like two weeks since I posted. Not sure why. Plenty has been happening. New trainees at the boat job. More hours, but not so many that I don't have time to post. I guess I got a little bored with posting. I suppose a lot of blogs that I read have a theme, or a reason for existing. I am not sure that mine does. I like the idea of writing my ideas down, but as soon as I sit to write, the ideas leak out of my left ear. They have the consistency of maple syrup.

grr.

Beautiful Day...

So, I left the house today to go collect paychecks and whatnot. I stopped @ the Farmer's Market for a bite to eat and to pick up a Bamboo plant for Nine, and I ended up stayin. I only have a few minutes before I need to get ready for work. I just wandered around, and hung out with friends from the various shops up and down 6th street. It was nice. The sun is great, and despite the winds we had yesterday, the water is pretty nice, according to the crew of the Starship when I went to pick up my paycheck. I am so happy to be going out on the water today. Wish it wasn't on a monohull, but think everything will be fine. Well, I supposed I had better go get ready.

Nine, love, the Bamboo plant will be in the office so the cats don't eat it.

Esspressoap!

Yes, Internets. I came up with a genius of an idea yesterday whilst being bored @ t3h c0ff33. I had gotten used espresso grinds on my hands, and I went to wash them off. And after I had washed it off, I noticed my hands were SO SOFT.

So what did I do? I pulled several more shots, and exfoliated my arms with the esspresso. SO SOFT.

Called my co-worker over. She tried it. SO SOFT. Then it hit me. I can put that crap in saop and yuppies will pay out the nose for Yet Another All-Natural Beauty Care Product that promises to Sharpen Your Mind While Smoothing your Skin! Esspressoap! Caffeinated Exfoliation meets Soft, Silky Cream Soap!

I will be a ka-jillionaire. This time next year, Nine and I will be rubbing elbows with the likes of Donald Trump & Bill Gates. Why rubbing elbows? Not sure, but that is what they do in those circles. They rub elbows.

Bosses suck.

Okay, I have seen some fucked up shit in my time, and some truly class-less behavior. But this one tops most of it. And from my boss, the owner of a business, no less.

I had to be at work at 5am this morning at t3h c0ff33. No big deal. Get up at 4am. That's 4am in the fucking morning. I get up, shower, and leave the house, arriving at work right on time. As usual. I check the schedule, and notice I am opening with the boss, and Matt, a piece of shit, is scheduled to come in at 7. Not that he ever makes it in on time, but whatever. Boss doesn't show. She calls at 5:25am, telling me she just woke up and slept through the alarm. Fine, it happens. I am a little annoyed, because I was doing both jobs.
Had it been me late, I would have been fired. Or at least disciplined. But she is the boss and thus accountable to no one. Whatever. She gets in about 5:40 or so, and I ask her in a friendly tone, "Had a rough night?"

You know, because I imagine she stayed up too late, thus causing her to sleep in. (side note: I didn't fall asleep till almost midnight, yet I was on time.)

And she responds in a bitchy tone & attitude, and then blames me for not calling her and waking her up when I noticed she was late. WTF?? Isn't she the boss? Isn't her job as a grown adult and owner of a business to get her own fat-ass up? I don't recall anywhere in the job description or training program where it stated that I was, in addition to my barista duties, babysit my boss. That's some bullshit.

And when Matt, as usual, hadn't shown up for his shift either, when she called him I happened to be next to her, and she was nasty to him, too. "Where the Hell are you?"

Wow. Hypocrisy of the likes that makes my pirate blood run cold. And when I teased her and him both about being late, she looked like she wanted to fire me on the spot, and then proceeded to critique my work skills and work attitude. And then she bitched me out in front of the new hire, and she was like, "Is the boss always like that?"

"Welcome to T3h c0ff33," I said magnanimously, arms spread wide.

Yep.

Partly related also:

I hate people with entitlement issues. But I found something worse. An immigrant so fresh off the boat he could barely speak english with entitlement issues. Despite the fact that I hate those kind of issues, I can see how some people can develop them. Maybe they are born to affluental parents who made a good life off of the American Dream™ in the 60's, and think they are entitled to all life has to offer, because they hadn't had to work for it yet. But then here comes some FOB that left his homeland to make a new life, and waltzes into my shop and expects it to be handed to him on a silver plater? Fuck. You. Please. Die.

Grr. I was not happy today, and if I didn't still need the coffee shop job for another 2 weeks or so? I totally would have quit on the spot. Because the boss? She has entitlement issues. She thinks she is entitled to treat me and the other employees like shit, and for us to take it. Wrong. I have already decided that I when I leave there, I will be burning some bridges.

Summer is coming.

Yee-up. Summer is already getting ready to come upon us. Oh, I know it is barely spring, but I wasn't refering to the Earth's tilt in relation to it's position around the sun. I was referring to the tourist season on Catalina Island. As it fast approaches, I find myself preparing for the season ahead, and strategizing to maximize my hours on the boats, which pay much better then t3h c0ff33.

In addition, Summer Semester will be starting in a month or so at the local community college, and I will be enrolling myself in an EMT course, with the possible addition of an elective. Just because I am going to be paying to enroll, I might as well have a little fun with it as well.

I am getting really excited. Since making my mind up to launch myself down the long path towards my M.D., I haven't had the oppurtunity to do much except wait. Wait for summer, which brings both the summer semester, and the money to attend the summer semester. I don't wait well. I can be very patient at times, but when faced with a decade-long path to where I want to be, the pressure to move quickly is strong. But of course, there was nothing I could do.

Until Now.

I am researching scheduling and tuition fees as soon as I post this entry, and then when I am done, I will update, to let you, the Internets, know all about it. Thanks for sticking with me.

Random Ideas...

It would be totally cool if I had a video camera. I would totally pollute the Intarweb with my videos, and it would be insane. And good. I forgot to mention the good.

I think I would be a hit on Youtube. Hell, fat old guys with nothing important to say get thousands of hits a day on that site. I would be like Youtube's God. YouGod.

Yep.

Or maybe, Godtube?

Anyways, I will have to look into procuring my brother's video camera on a temporary basis, as well as find my editing software. Can't remember if it is at my mom's hosue still or not. I guess we shall see soon. Anyways, that is about all I have to say.

Gotta go dust of the Ol' Riding Crop™.

Cake in a blender...

I was at the c0ff33 shop today. Like most days, it seems. Well. I made the coolest drink today. It was a regular blended mocha, with about half of a chocolate truffle cheescake blended in with it. So. Good. Even the boss, who is in fact, a bitch, thought so. So creamy. So Rich. So Chocolicious. I just thought you all should know.

I work Sunday on the boats. I am happy. It is shaping up to be a beautiful weekend, and beautiful weather out on the sea. My pirate-blood is singing sea-chanties in anticipation as I type.

Yo-ho ho, and a bottle of rum!

Yo-ho, yo-ho! A pirate's life for me!

Catching up...

I apoloigize if this post is a little full of the Attention Deficit Disorder, but I have a lot bouncing around in my mind, looking for a place in this post.

first and foremost on my mind: SEX. The party hats are off, people! Thank you.

My boss at the c0ff33 shop is a bitch. A double-talking, two-faced bitch. I cannot stand that woman. The job itself is great, and the customers are mostly awesome. She makes me hate that place. I befriended one of the other ladies at the shop, who at the time was also really good friends with the boss. When my friend quit, I got an EARFUL of HATE, people. I doubt any of it was true, but then I heard her talking all sweet on the phone to my friend the next day. What a bunch of crap. I hate hypocracy. Especially when it involves me. I try not to be a hypocrite, even though I am in a few things. When I recognize it, I try to resolve it. But I cannot stand people who center their whole lives around it.

Well. that kind of took the wind out of my sails. I forgot what else I was going to rant about. Oh, yeah. Asian food makes you hungry a half-hour after you eat it. Even the stuff you make fresh at home, loaded with yummy veggies...weak.

Grr..., and Good News!

I hate it when I tell someone to stop doing something that will result in property damage, and they do not heed my warning. The property is damaged, and they actually lolok shocked that it happened. And I can't do anything about it because it isn't yet legal to shoot Stupid People on sight. Hopefully some politician somewhere is working on that. Probably not.

anyways.

Had some time off with Nine yesterday, and that was nice.

And this little bit is just for Nine. I called the place I was supposed to call. Everything came back as it was supposed to!

I stopped at the bank this morning to cash my paycheck, and to pull out $400 with which to pay my past-due rent. I have been really bad about remembering to get my rent to Nine on time, and I feel bad for that. Especially when she is having a bad day, and an ill-conceived attempt at a cute remark turned out to be the last straw on Nine's back.

I am sorry, babe.

Crazy People

I love crazy people. They talk to me whilst I try to quietly surf the internets at Sacred Grounds coffee shop. They tell me that I look like the son of people they went to highschool with, and then they tell me their life's story. As I type into my blog. As I speak some Fat Old DudeDistinguished Gentleman with a Portly Physique is telling me how he used to drive his teacher's crazy. Back in a little red schoolhouse, I am sure. I am so distracted by the old man, and the paint fumes (film crew is setting up for a shoot tomorrow, and re-painted Sacred), that I can hardly remember what I was originally going to post about.

Oh, now I remember. A page from my personal history was rifled through today. Lady Samantha IMd me today. Samantha was a former roommate of me and 3vil. She was active in the dungeon, and we commiserated often about 3vil, and the Craziness that she perpetuated. She IMd me today, and informed me that I needed to call her to verify that it really was me, and not Evil impersonating me. So I did, and I got an earful. Apparently after I left, 3vil has impersonated everyone, talking to everyone as anyone but herself, to try and get people to explain to her how they really felt about her. Apparently no-one believed her when she tried to be me, but when one is dealing with Crazy, one can't be too careful. It was nice to hear from Samantha.

Non-sequitur:
The Old Man is not talking to me anymore. He is bothering the Set Designer now. Better him than me. I imagine it is an occupational hazard of working on location. He makes beau coup money, I imagine, so he can deal with it. I am not getting paid, so I will not deal with it. Simple, no?
/non-sequitur

Well, I suppose it is time to go, and shop for dinner. I had a day off today, and I need to cook. I haven't in over a month, and it makes me mad.

Talk to you later, Internets.

Post-St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Paddy's Day, Internets. Yesterday evening marked the first official "date" in the Black Aengus-Charity Alliance Relationship. We celebrated after I got home with Dos Equis b33r colored green with food-dye. Because that's what we do. don't knock it. I however, was not allowed to pour my b33r, because I had attempted suicide by Stupid at work that evening.

I slipped and slid down the hull of the boat, to fall about 10 feet to land in a tuck-and-roll, crunching my hand under my fat ass in the process. If I had been quicker with the hand, I would have escaped the fall with no injuries other than a slightly scraped elbow. I rock like that. It was pretty funny after the fact, although I think Nine is not terribly amused. She threatened violence to me if I didn't put a bag of frozen raspberries ice on my hand for at least 20 minutes. I also think she was unhappy that I went to work this morning, but I couldn't get out of it. I tried. She was witness to that. But some ass-hat at my other job broke his leg, so I couldn't get the time off.

In other news, I saw this picture this morning, and I had to post it. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Farewell, Toasty's

It is today that I shall be putting in my Official Two Weeks Notice To Volluntarilly Terminate Employment @ Toasty's™. Yes, it I have finally decided to submit my Notice. I have had far too little free time to spend with anyone. Including just myself. Alone time is important, you know. And so is time with Nine. Yeup. Fo sho, my nigs. At least that is how the gangbanger at work says it. Lol.

Anyways, I won't have to deal with him much longer. I am slowly cutting my hours at T3h c0ff33 shop also, so that I may accept all the Boat shifts that will be coming my way soon. Hurray!! I love the boats. I may have even convinced one of my coffee shop compatriots to come run away to the sea as well. We shall be Pirates of the Channel Islands! Yaaaaarr!!!

Another day....

Another day, another dollar. Easy come, easy go and all that. Well, can't type too long, but I thought I would put in a little update on my life since I havn't posted in a very long time. Like a whole ten days. Where to start? Probably going to be quitting Toasty's soon. As in like almost immediately. I really can't stand it anymore, and it is seriously starting to inhibit my ability to take shifts at the Boats, because they are starting to dump more shifts, and I want to be the guy picking them up. Life is good at T3h c0ff33, with the exception of the sometimes extremely early hours, but I can live with that. There will be less coffee shop in the near future, too, but I am not actively thrilled about that, as I am in the case of Imminent Toasty's Departure™.

I have been really tired lately, but I think that is because I have been working 60-70 hour work weeks, getting up as early as 4:45am to go straight to work, to be home from work as late as 10:30pm, and straight to bed. Helpful Hint: When you have trouble finding time to bathe, as in no time in the day? You are working too much. Just sayin'.

There are a lot of characters at the coffee shop, both good ones and bad. I seem to have been adopted as the 'older brother' by most of the employees, as I am the oldest one here by one year. Two are a year younger than me, so I don't feel alone in my chronological isolation. Look mah, big words! I am so tired right now. I am just attempting to kill time before I have to go to work, to prevent myself from falling asleep. Hopefully I will be getting more rest soon.

Wow, it has been a good long while since I have posted. I have been so busy. Working three jobs has been great for the bank account, not to mention the nice tax return that was just posted to my account as well. This is the second time my bank account has ever cleared $1000 in all my 27 years. Last time was in the army, but we don't talk about that much. When one is stuck in a foreign country, one can't spend money. So it was saved up. And then spent within a two month span upon returning to civilization.

Even my free time isn't free anymore, it seems. I sit right now, posting to the internets from work at the coffee shop. I don't work till noon, but I here anyways, because my baby is at work, and being alone at home is worse than being at work on my time off. One of my co-workers is letting me borrow her laptop, in return for me helping her look up cheap apartments in the area. I have found all I am going to find, bookmarked them, and so now am dutifully posting to my blog.

Aren't I just an all-around good boy? {snort}

I am soo tired. I was waylaid last night. And I do mean way-laid. Nine did in fact attempt to undress me before I had a chance to remove my motorcycle helmet, and we did in fact eat Carl's Junior for dinner. Cold, as we didn't get around to eating until about an hour after I got home. {ahem.}

Thank the gods for those bright spots in my life that make the crushing blackness of overworking worth it.

Love you, babe.

Boats.

They make me happy, boats. When I work on them, life seems better, even if my day did start incredibly early after a late night of wonderfully random bits of conversation with my beloved Nine.

As I re-read what I just wrote, I realize something. The boats are fun to work on, but they don't make me happy. Nine makes me happy. No matter how tired I am at the end of the day, or how angry I am at something, just a few moments in her presence makes everything better.

I just thought I would put that out there. I have to get to work before too much longer. If I find something sufficiently interesting/amusing/annoying, I will let you all know.

Update...

Well, apparently I have not been updating enough lately. I suppose that is true. Even my last couple of posts haven't been all that informative. Well, here goes all the update I can pack into a half-hour of typing:

Work: I have a new job, on top of the Boat Job, and Toasty's. It is at T3h C0ff33. T3h C0ff33 is a coffee shop much like Starbucks, except not so snooty. No, at T3h C0ff33, we call our drinks singles, doubles, and triples, or small medium and large, depending on the type of drink. Drinks that get shots of espresso are labeled depending on if it is a single, double, or triple shot. I know this is possibly off topic, but here goes. Ass-tarded idiots that wander into my coffee shop, which is obviously NOT a Starbucks, and then tries to order a Venti drink, or a frappucino. For those of you who don't know, a frappucino is an blended iced-mocha. The word frappucino is a bastardization of the word cappucino, and frappe, a french word that is usually a setting on most blenders made for home-use. I have no idea what the word means translated, other than it is a culinary turn somehow related to blending. Or at least, one would hope so. And I am too lazy to look it up. But I digress from my original digression. (are we still keeping up? Good.) So anyways, this idiot orders a venti caramel blended iced mocha (he got is half right, at least). I told him we didn't have a venti size. So he asks if we have a large. Yes. Yes we do.

And what is up with Starbucks calling a small sized drink tall? WTF?!?!?! Maybe it makes them feel better for paying $5 for a cup of burnt coffee. Tall-brained morons.

And now, back to our original topic. I like the people I work with at T3h C0ff33. They are almost as twisted as me. the customers there for the most part display MUCH more intelligence, common sense, and sentience than do the customers at Toasty's.
Thank.
The.
Gods.

Personal: Mad Charity and I are about a w33k away from abandoning t3h c0nd0mz. w00t! Can I get an 'Amen!' for T3h P1ll? I knew I could. Anyways, just gots to go schedule a phsyical at the free clinic to make sure that skank Ho' my 3x didn't give me anything more serious than a criminal record*.

Yeps. Other than that, there really isn't all that much going on. Oh, yeah. I started a gang-war at Toasty's. That is pretty much t3h cool, since I don't plan on being employed there much longer. By gang war, I mean the morning crew gang vs. the Night Crew gang. We on the night crew are outnumbered, but we are smarter, and all of us are in this country legally, with a full command of the English language. Morning Crew, you have no chance, essayJoven.


*Yeps. I have a fraud conviction against me because she decided she wanted a house we could not afford, and signed a false name on the document, and I ended up taking the fall for it. She best be glad she is on the East Coast now, and she best plan on stayin' there.

The Good, the Bad, and the Bitchy...

The Good:

Well, my friend Dick, the guy who is a retired doctor and partial inspiration for me to pursue a medical career, finally turned up again. I have privately worried that he might have passed away, as he is rather aged. But he did show up. It turns out he had suffered a hernia, and was recovering from surgery to fix it. He even offered me a financial proposition of which I am still waiting to hear from him about the details. I am a little excited, but I am to realistic to expect a magick solution to my problems. But I am open-minded. I am glad he is okay. Loving the new job at t3h c0ff33 $h0p.

The Bad:

Stressed out at Toasty's. It is getting tougher to work there what with the cool c0ff33 job, and the fact that it will very shortly be boat season again.

The Bitchy:

The day manager at Toasty's. Flaming. Bitch. Whore. I am so tempted to unload on her when I quit. Depends on if I put in my two weeks, or if I get pushed to quitting on the spot. Oh well.

V-Day... Stands for Vulture's Day.

I am not normally one to go on about conspiracy theories, but I sure have one for you today. Hallmark is totally behind Valentine's Day, in secret partnership with Hershey's and Nestle. Their goal. To make all of America poor and diabetic. And damn it if them migrant workers aren't jumping on the bandwagon with them!

Not to spew too much hate, but on the way home, I noticed two things that tipped me off to something Very Wrong:

1.) There were NO illegal dudes waiting outside the Home Depot asking for "Trabajo."

2.) I found all of them on the street corner, selling Valetntines day shit. See attached photo:

Fucking. Vultures. Is it not bad enough you use up all of our Wellfare and tax money? Now you have to take the money right out of the average lazy person's pocket too?

Hating the illegal status of illegal immigrants aside, I hate how commercial Valentine's day is. the following statement (thank the gods) does not apply to my Charity. Some wimminz get so worked up over this FAKE holiday, they have been known to break off their relationships because they didn't get a $5 boquet of Fucking roses! Roses that will be DEAD in a week!

Fucking.
Weak.
<cartman>Screw you, St. Valentine. I'm going hoooome.</cartman>

Yeeeup.
I already have what I am going to give to my Baby for Valentine's and it sure as hell is:

a.) useful
b.) not an item of dubious origins purchased from an undocumented individual on a street corner.

boo. yah.

The coolest thing.

Well, one of the coolest things.. Check THIS out.

What is THIS?

THIS is WikiWrit, the Holy Text anyone can edit!!!

There is soo much wrong.
A sample.

Original Sin: A sin that no one has sinned before. A new and unusual sin.

Check out the link to Genesis... So fun

Crap.

Got the crap scared out of me today. At work, some damn LA county Sherriff was staked out outside my Toasty's, and for some damn reason, I became very paranoid. Fortunately, all turned out fine in the end, but damn it, I HATE that I get so nervous because of something I DIDN'T EVEN DO!!

Life can suck sometimes. I guess all the more motivation to get all that taken care of, so I can stop being scared of my own shadow.

"Paging Dr. Geek..."

Yup. The title says it all. I was at work today, at Toasty's, and two EMT's working on an ambulance came in to grab a bite to eat before heading back to their station house. I had just rung the first guy up when their Nextel goes off. I rush to get the other guy rung up, knowing that when an ambulance gets a call, time is critical. I get him out the door before the other guy even has time to start up the ambulance, so I don't think I held them back much. They then proceed to pull out of the parking lot with lights and sirens, and I stood there watching, and thought to myself:

I can't wait until that is me. What adventure!

And then I realized. When I do become a doctor, I am doomed to become Dr. Bashir, of DS9. Not just Dr. Bashir, but apparently I will be the Dr. Bashir from the pilot episode, all spaz and thirsting for "adventure!"

While I am mildly horrified by the prospect, I am also slightly amused by it. Not that I don't take becoming a doctor seriously. Far from it. I just find humor in the way my thoughts for a moment mirrored a Star Trek doctor. What a Geek am I.

And in other news, I have gotten a job at the Coffee shop next door to the Toasty's. Hooray. More work means more money. I promise not to maybe won't will for sure drink too much caffeine. Oh, well, I tried.

And again back to my future career aspirations, I find that most every night on the way home from work, I choose a path home that takes me past the Hospital here in town, and I drive past slowly, looking in the windows, and reaffirm that this is what I want to do. It really feels good to have a real plan for my life now. I am not just drifting down the river anymore. I have set a course, and I am prepping myself to get underway. Feels good. Really. Good. Zen.

Ahhhhhhhhhh...

I haven't posted in the last several days, because I have felt like crap. Charity says I am delicate, and as much as I hate to admit it, she may have a bit of a point, at least as far as my Immune System is concerned. I have had a nasty sore throat, and yesterday it was bad enough that I only ate soup. I went to bed last night with a splitting headache, and was not happy about today's prospects, considering the escalating nature of my throat issue this past week. Today I wake up, and I was suprised to realize I felt much better. MUCH better, Thank you. I barely can feel my throat, the headaches are gone, and the mild fevers have left the building. I am not delicate today. I may have gotten the job at the Coffee Shop next to Toasty's, but I won't find out till tonight. Here's hoping. I needs more money for college and Nice Things™ for Charity.

12th Night.

¡Warning! This post will likely be bitter.

So today ended my 12th day of consecutive work sans any days off. Two nights ago, work tried to drive me insane and failed. Gave it it's best shot, but fell short of the mark. I was not concerned about today. Until it began to repeat the other day. I won't even go into details, suffice to say that they need a way to genetically determine IQ prenatally, so we can Abort the Stupid. But I digress. Towards the end of the night, one of my employees,* Dee, overheard me mentioning to a Regular that I applied for a job at the Coffee Shop next door to the Toasty's. Before she found out that I was looking for that job in addition to, as opposed to instead of, she told me I couldn't quit Toasty's because she didn't want to work for anyone of the other leads. I was her favorite person to work with. And if need be, she would quit and go to the coffee shop, too.

I was quietly floored. That was the nicest thing that has ever been said to me professionally. And it couldn't have come at a better moment. Turned my night clear around, it did. I told her that I wasn't leaving Toasty's, and that I was looking for more hours in addition to what I already have.

So, the night was starting to look clear after all. It had even stopped raining. Yay, I can go home, grab a quick cup of Chamomile tea, feed my Pirate, and go to bed with my beautiful Charity, and sleep a happy sleep.

But Wait!!!!

As I am putting the finishing touches on closing the store, my cell rings. It is my mom. Probably asking to know what time I will be there. Yep. However, she is antagonistic from the very beginning, so I assume she's had a few Cape Cods. She then proceeds to eviscerate my good mood by informing me that the only reason I was coming to attend the multi-birthday party** tomorrow (which is directly responsible for me getting 12 days in a row of work, due to rescheduling to attend) was to grab presents, and leave without thanks or giving in return.

Wow.

In so many words, she told me I was a pandering bastard.

Maybe I am. It is my fault that I work two jobs just to stay broke. It is my fault I can't even afford nice things for my Charity, let alone myself. It is my fault I barely make my rent payments a month, with little extra to pay my P.O., phone bill, and the future expense that my going to college is going to incur.

It is also my fault that I didn't marry a man that is able to single-handedly support me, and 5 of my children, and then constantly hen-peck him and treat him like shit, especially after he buys me a $35,000 Brand Fucking New Mini Cooper.

Yep, I am a bad son. Even though whenever she needs manual labor around the house, I am over there to do it. Or at my grandmother's house. Or to help my cousin move.

I called my grandma to tell her that I might not make it. She asked why, and I related. She was silent, and then she told me what was going down. Apparently I look a lot like my Biological Father (whom I have never met, and was led to believe he was dead until a year ago), who was very mean to my mother after he found out she was pregnant with me. And so all of her resentment for him gets piled on me.

Way to go, Mom. Two Thumbs, WAAAAAAAY up!

I told my grandmother I would head out that way if I felt better.


*Yes, I have two of them, Dee & SloMo™ I occasionally feed and water them, and for the most part they behave. SloMo needs to be disciplined with the Squirt Bottle on several times a week.

**the Multi-Birthday Party is used to celebrate all of the following birthdays in my family, which fall between mid-December and mid-February: Uncle, (late)Grandpa, Me, Sis, Grandma, Cousin.

Now this is just Freakin' Hilarious.

I was given the link to Tshirthell.com, and I found this t-shirt. All things considered, it is too freakin' funny.

10070XP!!!

I finally have a Parrot on Ze Pirates! His name is Jack Sparrow, and he kicks ass. Thank you.

Oh So Yummy. Creamy Potato and Kale Soup

Last night I made soup. And not just any soup. GOOD SOUP. I am going to write the recipe down here until I can find the book that I want to use to write it down. That, and now that it is on the Internets, anyone can try it. It is delicious. I am not sure what to call it. I downloaded from the Internet the recipe for Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana soup. But that has meat and chicken stock in it, and Charity is a vegetarian, so I altered the recipe to be vegetarian. It turned out really good, so I don't know if the name still applies. So I will rename it.

Creamy Potato & Kale Soup. How about that? Works for me. Anyways, here is the recipe as I made it:

Creamy Potato & Kale Soup (Vegetarian variation of Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana)

Ingredients:

3 Yukon Gold Potatoes, sliced ¼inch thick, bite-size pieces (skin-on).
3 or 4 Purple potatoes, sliced ¼inch thick, bite-sized peices (skin-on).
3 or 4 Kale leaves, chopped into bite-size peices, stalk removed.
1 medium yellow onion, diced.
1 cup finely choped freen onions.
2 tsp minced garlic (or more. you can never go wrong with garlic.)
3-4 TBSp Vegetable Base (to taste)
Approx 6-8 cups water
1 cup Heavy Cream
Vegtable Oil(olive)
Salt
Pepper

----------------------------------------------------------

• In a large pot, add a sufficient amount of oil to fry the yellow onions until nearly clear. Add about 2 tsp of fresch crushed peppercorns to the onions.
• Add the minced garlic, and fry for an additional minute or so.
• Add potatoes, vegetable base, green onions, and enough water to fully submerge the potatoes while leaving enough room for the kale. (about 6-8 cups). Simmer for 15 minutes, or until potatoes are tender.
• Add cream and kale. Bring back to a simmer, and simmer for 5 additional minutes. Salt and pepper to taste,

Should serve 5-6 people. Or 2 people who eat like pigs for two days.(That would be me and Charity.)

Making dinner

Yep. Exciting post. I am posting to let the Internets know that I am about to log off to go cook some dinner. I suppose I should be thankful that the drama at work is resolved. Oh! Wait! HEROES IS BACK TONIGHT!!!!!!

Whoooohoooo!!! That will be aw3some.

Laterz, internets. I gots soup to craft.

I am warped in the Brainal area.

It occured to me yesterday that Life hates me, and when I bitch about my job in my blog, Life makes things worse at my job. It got worse last night. So now, instead of refraining from posting about the crap that happens at work, I have decided to develop a sick fascination with just how bad things can get. So, there you have it. I will post every sordid detail. Every bit of Stupid the customers dish to me, as well as all the crappy gay-ass backstabbing that the Day Crew employees are sending my way.

The Day Crew Lead likes to bitch at me for supposedly wasting my time talking to customers. Customers that tip when they feel they are treated nicely, by the way.

FUCK YOU, Day Shift Lead. I have seen your 18 year old self flirting with a 50 year old repeat customer for a $5 tip. Go fuck yourself. Or better yet. Fuck him. He might give you $10.

Thank you, Internets. This has been. Bitter, Burnt-Out Theatre.

Tune in Tomorrow. I might have snapped and punched a customer by then. Gods know they deserve it.

P.S. And just because I am sure you want to know, Internets. I am 3 b33rz down. This job at Toasty's has officially driven me to the drink.

Gay.

Lemme tell ya...

Internets? Let me tell you something. Pull up a chair, and kick off your shoes. Here we go.

After a long evening dealing with USDA grade AAA Certified Organic Fresh-Picked Stupid, one feels like killing things. When one gets this urge, there is a simple, non-violent method of dealing with these feelings. Simply grab your girlfriend, Mad Charity Roberts, and set her on the couch, preferably with her legs draped across your lap. Add one (1) hookah, and turn on reruns of Star Trek.

Charity makes everything better. The hookah is icing on the cake. I don't feel like killing aymore. I just wanted to let you know that all of you who don't have a MAd Charity Roberts of you own.... Sucks to be you. I got her, she's all mine.

I have to point out a bit of amusement. This is her last post. In it, she makes reference to me looking just a tad like Adam Ant. Nothing wrong with that. I was flattered. Anyways, I got to looking at the picture she posted of Adam Ant, and of the picture she posted of me. Now, look at his picture, and then check these ones out.














either one of these pictures is even closer in pose. But, maybe this one is the closest of them all...



I suppose all I have left to do is get famous and have a large following and a 20 + year musical career. Hey, it could happen. After all, Adam started on bass, too.

I will now empty my brain...

First of, today is my sister's birthday. Happy Birthday, Nanners! I got a phone call at 10am from my mom, ordering me to get out to Garden Grove before 12pm, to surprise my sister by attending a secret birthday luncheon at the Olive Garden. Scrambled to take a shower, and proceeded to nearly break both my brush and the hair dryer in frustration (my hair does not like the hair dryer, Internets). I rolled up right abouts noon somehow, just behind my sister, dad, and grandmother, all of whom arrived within the ten minutes preceding my arrivial. So, timing was good, hair was semi-fabulous. Dad has some business to attend to before we go, and then we pile into two cars. My bro driving one, my mom driving her car (with me in it). Bro gets lost following us (red light) and is ten minutes late getting the rest of the party to the Garden. Finally we all get there, and our waiter was the most Fabulously Gay Dude smoking the MOST Crack Ever. So. Gay. So. Cracked Out of His Mind. It was very entertaining. As a parting gift, because we felt sorry for him (my family trashed the table) my dad spoke with the manager, and piled high the praise for our Gay Crack Fiend Waiter. Here is what the table looked like as we all sloshed (all you can eat soup and salad bar, baby!) away:

Do you see the spot on the table on the right side, halfway up, where there is only one napkin and little clutter? That is where I sat. I almost have table manners. I also had almost 7 bowls of Soupa Toscano. Oh so yummy. We(the Royal, that is) shall be looking up the recipe toot-sweet, and will convert it for vegetarian use.

Immediately upon arriving back at mom's house, I had to make a bee-line back to San Pedro to get to work.

Work was, how can I put it. Like the Devil Himself came up to me, bent me over, and shoved nine inches of purple veigned Stupid straight up my arse, sans lube. And He didn't even buy me flowers or tell my I was pretty.

So many stupid people, and a couple of rude ones at that. I am amazed I haven't lost it on one of these people yet. I mean, it is an easily replaceable job, and it pays minimum wage, and I hate it. How the hell have I managed to continue to keep my cool? I am supposing that I must really be maturing (How the Fuck did that happen?).

Good night, Internets. I think I shall go to bed soon. As soon as all the ice tea I drank wears off.

Battle of the 3xXx0rz

In this corner, weighing in at 180lbs, we have, T3h 3xXx0r. Previously the 0wn3r of Black Aengus MacGuiness, and currently a bitter, bitter woman on the run from a stalker in Louisana.

And in this corner, weighing in well over 200lbs, we have Mr. Jesus™. Formerly(almost) married to Mad Charity Roberts, and currently the b1tch of a Tr@nsv3stit3.


Who will be the winner of the Bringer of Most Drama? The 3xXx0r. she made my life a living hell for 3 years, and then proceeded to try (repeatedly) to sabotage my relationship with MadCharity. Can we say Poor Loser? I think we can, Internets.

However, Mr. Jesus gets his consolation prize: Bringer or the Most Comedy(at his expense). Mr. Jesus™ did in fact make an ass of himself last night when he came to the apartment of Roberts & MacGuinness, Esq. to collect some of his belongings he had left there. Besides being cowed to submission and civility by the mere presence of myself(I don't get it, either.), he made referrene to his Mannish-He/she?friend as a transvestite. Nice. Apprently he still reads Charity's Blog, in which we pointed out that the woman had a suspicious bulge in her throat, right abouts the spot where a man would have an Adams's Apple. Said picture is removed from her profile, and the profile is marked private now. Does someone feel threatened? No clue. But last night was hysterical. I haven't laughed that hard in a while, despite what Charty says about me being prone to explosive outbursts of mirth.

It was a night well spent. Maria's Mexican Food was delicious, and there was much cuddling, and more than a little fondling happening as Charity pointed out that she was still technically married to Mr. Jesus™. I am in fact the fondle-er of other men's wives. Take that.

:-) #3

hooray for Morning s3x!!!!! Especially when it is Earth-shatteringly good M0rn1ng s3x.

Kitchen Sink - 2, Aengus - 0

Day before yesterday, the kitchen sink stops up, which in and of itself is not an unusal occurence at the apartment of Roberts & MacGuinness, Esq. Normally a plunger and 30-45 seconds of effort is enough to remedy the problem. Normally. However, this time, a plunger and 30-45 seconds of effort was enough to rupture the seal between the drain and the sink, and thus created what we in the Plumbing Business call an Oopsie™.

Not to worry, I am good at installing and reparing sinks. Why? Ren Faire. our botth back int he day was the shit. Hot and cold running water, and a stainless steel double sink. Portable. Potable. Made by Aengus. So, drunk on my own self-delusions of Master Plumber Status, I go purchase a new strainer and a spanner wrench. Which would have been fine. Had the building maintenance man not been a complete idiot. The Damn Fool™ slathered the threads in plumber's putty. That stuff puts super-glue tio shame, especially when the part that is now stuck is also spinning freely in the sink, and so there is very little leverage available to use to break the thread-lock.

Current Score:
Sink - 1, Aengus - 0

Well, in my struggles, I also see that the sink is damaged right where the seal used to be, before my plunger evicerated it (just like in the 3x's novel!). I determine that a new basin is necessary. Home Depot and Lowe's were consulted for prices. They don't have the sink I need. Most sinks have holes in the back for the faucet to be mounted. The Apartment of Roberts & MacGuiness, Esq. was built roughly in 1900...B.C.
And being just one historical event short of being a National Historick Landmark, the faucet is built into the wall above the sink, kind of like the kind that most people have in the set tray in their garages. And so our sink does not have the holes. Well, No one apparently sells the sinks without holes unless they are made to be installed under tile, which is a $300 sink. The nice $40 sinks that are what I am looking for... Only have the holes.

Sink - 2, Aengus - 0

W34k.

As Mad Charity just told me on the phone, it isn't that big a deal. Having holes in the sink that go nowhere wouldn't be out of place in our Ghetto Chic Digs. However, because I have the sink at least working from the other basin, we aren't in a rush, and therefore I can spend a little more time trying to find out where I can get a new sink, that doesn't have the damn little faucet holes.

And in related news, I get to install a new cabinet for the bathroom sink. More plumbing! More Man-Stuff™! I get to regain the Man-Points™ that I lost in my failed battle with the Kitchen Sink. In true man fashion, when I get beat by something, I then go beat up it's little brother to make myself feel better! Thumbs Up!

My Birthday

January 11th, in History. At least, the history that struck me as worthy of repeating here.

1. 1922 - First use of insulin to treat diabetes in a human patient.
2. 1935 - Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly solo from Hawaii to
   California.
3. 1949 - First recorded case of snowfall in Los Angeles, California.
4. 1963 - The Whisky a Go Go night club in Los Angeles, the first disco in the
   USA, is opened.
5. United States Surgeon General Luther Leonidas Terry reports smoking may be hazardous to health. First such statement from U.S. government.
6. 1973 - Beginning of the Watergate burglars trial.
7. 1995 - The WB Television Network begins operations.
8. 2001 - The Federal Trade Commission approved the merger of AOL and Time Warner to form AOL Time Warner.

I like how my birthday is responsible for such tragedies as the WB, AOHell, and Disco. I'm sorry, folks..

Last night...

I ran into Rich again. Rich is one of my regular customers at Toasty's, and always orders a variation on the same sandwhich. Changes it up just enough to prevent me from making it up without having to ask him anything. Which tends to frustrate me just a little, and amuses him to no end, I think. But more important than that, Rich has become a VERY good friend in a very short amount of time.

I don't know how old Rich is, but I would imagine mid to late 60's. He is a retired doctor, and a holder of three doctorates. Three. Pretty damn awesome. but none of that is really important. What is important is that he always makes time to ask after my affairs, and to spend a few minutes having conversations that run to time in the army, events that he has been through, and offering simple insights that are really profound much of the time.

He reminds me of my grandfather, who would have celebrated his birthday the day before yesterday. I miss him a lot. I don't think I realized just how much, until Rich came along and started to make me feel similar to the way my grandfather used to.

I told Rich that he was one of the factors that encouraged me to begin pursuing a medical career, and he was really flattered and touched. It made me feel really good that he felt that way. It is strange to me how relationships, both romantic and platonic, can seem to spontaneously erupt in the most random of circumstances.

Especially in my case. I am not knocking the circumstances that created this friendship, nor the ones that created my relationship with my Beloved MadCharity. I am just gratefull for them.

And speaking of Mad Charity... This woman truly makes me feel like a king, or someone else of great consequence. Every night when I arrive home from work, she gets up when she hears my key in the lock, and when I open the door, she greets me with hugs as warm as a summer day, and kisses sweeter than any honey. I can't explain how perfect life is in those moments. Any problems I have had, or any negative emotions I harbour are gone during that moment. There is just her, and myself, and perfect love. She makes me so happy.

Stupid Legal Crap..

Well, several months ago I changed my probation information to reflect my new address and phone number. And they finally called. So now I must start paying $100 a month again to them. This will put serious crimps in my plan to save up money to go to EMT class next winter.

Lame.

I hate you, 3x. It is times like this that I wish I had never met you. Although I suppose it was equally my fault for being so stupid and niave as to ever trust a word that was ever issued forth from you mouth.

Death will come to you on swift wings of Vengeance.

To every member of the Local Stupid Union, which apparently had it's Annual Dinner @ Toasty's...

I hate all of you. Every person who walked in the door today except for my one repeat customer, who is cool. All of you sucked. All of you tried your damnedest to be as indecisive and picky as you could. May you all be infested with the fleas of 1000 Stray Jackals.

I really, REALLY. Hate. That. Job.

I didn't in the beginning. But I want so much more, both for myself and for my woman. (I called you my woman, baby. ;-))

I think I will look into maybe a waiter position somewhere. I like the tips. And it can't be any worse. At least until summer kicks in... Please please please let spring come soon...

Epiphany.

I was at work this evening. That's right, the menial, non-skilled, minimum wage-paying job that is usually reserved for teenagers. In fact other than one lady who I seriously doubt has her green card, I am the only person there old enough to consume alcohol legally, and only one of 4 able to buy cigarettes if it pleased me (which it doesn't). As you may well imagine, I am not terribly happy at that job. I may not be the brightest bulb in the candelabra, but damn it, I am educated, and relatively intelligent.

I have always told myself I haven't gone to college or tried to get a career situated for myself because I couldn't keep a job for more than a year or two before quitting our of boredom and finding something else. And so I haven't really ever pursued college, or even trade schools, because I was afraid to waste the money it would take to attend the college/trade schools.

And then it occurred to me today.

I am not avoiding college because I can't hold down a job. I am failing to hold down jobs because I have been avoiding college, and I am restless because I am letting my chances to make something better of myself slip away. I don't think it matters what path I choose. The fact that I will be challenging myself would be more rewarding than anything. And I think I have in light of my little epiphany, found a vocation that I want to follow.

I am sure you will all either

(a.) tell me I could never succeed at it.
(b.) tell me I am too old to start
(c.) laugh and think I am smoking the Fine Crack™

I want to pursue a career in Medicine. I was talking with a couple of Ambulance Drivers, and found out some cool information. I could take for a couple hundred dollars, night courses to get my EMT cert, work on an ambulance or in an ER for a couple of years making pretty good money while saving up to get my Paramedic cert. After that, I would have the option of going to Med School.

I haven't thought that out yet, but the idea is appealing. but the EMT and Paramedic certs are very much within my scope of attainability, and Med School wouldn't be impossible if I devoted the effort to fixing my credit.

Fact is, I like the feeling I get when I help people in any way I can. It is a worthy life, and I think I could procure many Nice Things™ for my family. Because I have a Family now. It's time to make myself into a Provider for them.

Rhymes with Duck.

Fuck. Corijo. Jebem. Cao. Fottuto. Fourche. Schtup.

Okay, all better now. I have spent three days searching for a damn Mortar & Pestle, and traveled all over the Peninsula. Finally found it. And for cheap, too. But I was frustrated. So there.

Random.

It occured to me today, as I sat at work, that I should like my blog to look and operate like the LCARS* system on Star Trek: the next generation. Yeah, I'm that kind of Geek. Now, it wouldn't be hard at all to get it to work on HTML. AT least the look of it. A little PhotoShop works wonders. The problem is that it won't do all the neat Animated Shit & Sounds™ unless it is done in Flash. I do know a little Flash. I did in fact teach some of the basics to myself. But it would in fact take A LOT of knowledge to get a good Flash site done up like LCARS. I have looked a couple of sites that have resources on them, so I might just have to do it. I imagine that I will have to actually by a domain name and create the software from scratch, because as far as I know, no blogging utility runs on Flash yet. Hmmmm, I think I might have just had a good idea. Back, all of you! I officially copyright my idea! I'll sue!!! Arf!!! Grrrrrrr!!!!! I will gnaw on the bones of your dead aunt, twice removed!

*That's Library Computer Access & Retrieval System, yo.

P.S. I am tired & wired (caffeine). That is not an apology for this post. Just an explanation, as I am in charitable spirits tonight.