Portrait of a Bad Day™

Today class, we shall discuss how a Bad Day™ operates. Bad Days™ generally follow a pattern of Bad to Worse. Spectacularly Bad Days™ can progress from Bad to Worse to "Please Shoot Me Twice in the Head."

Step-by-step, this is a Bad Day.

Step 1: We begin the previous night, or in this test case, 1:30am. Set you alarm clock to 6pm instead of 6am. Neglect to notice.

Step 2: Wake up at 5:30 am to pee, and then, despite a feeling of foreboding, lay back down, confident your alarm clock will wake you up, because, damnit, 1/2 an hour cuddling with t3h girlfriend is needed.

Step 3: Said girlfriend wakes you up at 6:45am, 15 minutes before you are due to clock in at work, which is located 30 minutes away. Do the math and scream.

Step 4: Arrive at work 15 minutes late, feeling horrible for draggin the girlfriend to Long Beach to drive you to work because your scooter will never make it fast enough.

Step 5: Find out your boat captain is the Boss of your Boss. (Vice President of a company)

Step 6: Skillfully avoid being seen by your boss while you are working, and only let him detect you when you stop to drink coffee, thus giving the impression that you are lazy (high five).

Step 7: Have a crew meeting where the specific points of topic are how to (a.)load first-class passengers, and (b.)tie up the boat in Catalina.

Step 8: Proceed to attempt to tie up boat correctly three times before succeeding.

Step 9: Completely Screw up loading of First Class Passengers

Step 10: You are in charge of all the idiots that screwed up Steps 8 & 9.*

This has been a Bad Day™. From there it can only get better, as in, due to a scheduling SNAFU, there was an extra person on the boat after the first run, of which I was scheduled to do 2. So I was able to pull rank and bail without seeming like I was bailing. I hope.



*See "Shit Rolls Downhill," but in this case, only as far as me.