4 Wh33lz

Well, shortly after my post, my scooter's throttle cable snapped, and I was without a vehicle. Assuming in fact that you call a glorified moped with an engine with half the HP of a lawnmower a vehicle. But I am not bitter. I haven't posted about this till now because until now there was frantic calls made by Yours Truly attempting to find a part to fix said 1/2 a lawnmower. Then two days ago, I got a call from my mom.

"How would you like the Camaro?"

Shiggity-shwhat you say?

Yep. A '93 Camaro. 5-speed, hehe. free. Cuz my parents rawk. And this was offered even before they knew the scooter was dead. They were trying to unload it, and rather then sell it, they thought of me.

My twisted, crispy black heart, wherever it is, is probably melting with joy.

And for your viewing entertainment:



It is in need of a little mechanical work, and trip to Ye Olde Detailer's Shoppe™, however, it runs, and it will mean I won't freeze in the winter.

Jesus is Watching You.

At my work, every once in a while, I get stuck doing a camp run. A camp run is basically picking up or dropping off some form of boy scout/summer camp group off on the Island. Not a big deal. Not fun, usually, but not a big deal. Highlights of an average camp run usually are as follows. 5-6 bags per child, weighing approximately the same as fully grown Blue Whale. Multiply that by 200 (the amount of kids/young adults we bring on at a time). Sprinkle that with boorish behaviour.

Today was a little special. We had the God Squad!™* on the Boat today. Now you may think Christian kids are well behaved and such. Maybe at church, when they think Jesus is watching them. But on my boats, they are little pimply bags of Pure Evil.

But today I kind of lost it on them. Nothing bad, but I decided to stop being polite. I had had enough. One of them was mouthing off to me after I told them to stop jumping, and I looked at him, and said loud enough for him and his friends to hear, "Jesus would not approve."

I said this in a deadpan, with no hint as to whether or not I was being sarcastic or holy.

Jaws hit the deck, people. And the kid walked away. calmly, quietly. Defeated.

Score.

So that is my new catchphrase on the God Squad!™ boats. It solves all my problems through confusion and mild offense.

*God Squad!™ is what we call the Christian Camps when they come on our boats. Why? Because we are assholes, and we can.

Work...

I don't want to go...

That is all.

The Bible...

A friend of mine related in her post about some Retards special people dressed as superheroes (underwear on the outside and all) for Jesus. She questioned them about smiting, to which they had no idea. Never heard of Smiting? Christians? WTF?!?!?!1?!?

I came across this picture years ago, and now is the perfect time to use it, I think. Take a look at the new Surgeon's Geneneral Warning on the Bible

Late..

It's late. I got home from work about half an hour ago, and wasn't quite ready to turn in.

Today was an interesting day. I got a job offer in Hawaii, and also got a free Spiderco Knife, worth probably somewhere around $100. Nice. A security guard for a floating club that docks near my boat is a friend of mine, and he confiscated it off of some guy trying to sneak it aboard the club. He knew I was in need of a new knife, and he gave it to me. Pretty sweet. And all I do is give him and his wife free coffee every Saturday night. Nice people. He is being recalled to the service. The Navy. Very sad. His hair is almost as long as mine.

I called Nine about the job offer. Not because I wanted particularly to take the job. Going to Hawaii would put a serious ding in my plans to become a doctor, make much moneys, and buy many fancy things for Nine that she doesn't need. I think I upset her a bit, or at least confused her. I was excited. Not about the job, but about the offer. I guess I was excited by the thought that if I wanted to, I could go. But that doesn't mean that I want to.

I am completely happy where I am at this point in my life. Well, completely happy with my Nine. I am content where I am financially, and educationally, only because I am on the road to bigger and better things there. With Nine, I am already at the top, and I have no desire to be anywhere else. Hawaii may be nice, but I imagine it would be pretty damned boring after the shiny wore off. I mean, islands people. Just a handful of them. In the middle of the largest ocean on the planet. I am a lover of the Road Trip. Can't have them on an island that only takes an hour to cross.

Perhaps I will vacation there one day. But I shall not work there, nor shall I live there. Quirky though it is, San Pedro is my home. Nine is my home.

I am home.

"Would you like a side of Culture with that?"

Tonight Nine and I went to the local Coco's to dine out and enjoy an evening of delcious yet affordable victuals. While we were waiting for our comestibles to arrive, we happened to take notice of a young couple sitting in the booth next to us. I couldn't see the age of the girl, as she was facing away from us, but I imagine she was about 18. The young man was definitely around that age. No big deal.

As they started talking, I could here what they were talking about. Young Dude was explaing Opera to his date. Yep. Opera. He was explaing such things as to why Italian is the preferred language for Operas, and describing in great deal his last trip to the Opera. For her part, she seemed interested, if not as knowledgeable as Young Dude.

So there you have it. The Youth of Today isn't all bad. Just mostly.