Why I love days off...

I love mornings off, because after a wonderful morning having t3h S3x with my girlfriend Nine, nothing make the day start off right then having our recuperation nap interrupted by the eruption of craziness all over the Entire Complex across the alley.

I was ready to call cops, I swear. There was Dude yelling at the top of his lungs, Chick yelling back, and somewhere in the middle of this, multiple children screaming. It was the opinion of Nine that the children were in a seperate apartment from the fighting, but I think next time I will let CPS ant the Cops figure it all out. Because I am betting as soon as those fools show up, the party will end. FAST.

Cops can usually be counted on to be the least fun people to have at party, if they are on duty.

And now that I have no sleep, it is time to go to work... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Work...

I have nothing against my job. In fact, I like this job better then just about any other job I have ever had. Up until today, I really didn't have much to say about my fellow employees, but today, they did rise up and Unite under a banner of Stupid.

First was the call at 10am telling me I was suppose to be at work at 10:15am. I rush to get ready, call my boss to tell him I will be late and to find someone to work my night shift, and am on my way to the Scooter when I get a call back. Oops. Right day, wrong week. Wrong week???? Shit... fine. I settle down, relax and stuff..

My evening shift rolls around. I head out to work to find out that the boat I was supposed to be on isn't even running today. They had over 7 hours to call me and tell me not to show up, but did they? No. And it was hot today. Sweaty-balls hot. So, I drove all the way out there, and all the way back home.

Thank goodness, my lovely wonderful girlfriend had food waiting for me when I got home. She knows how to make everything all better. I love her so much..

For the love of All Things Technological..

We have DSL!!!! Finally. Big deal, you say. Yes, says I. Because it was hard enough to go about ordering it, what with the finances, and stuff. But when I finally ordered it, it didn't hurt as bad as I thought. However, the installation was another story. Apparently the setup with the disk and stuff didn't work, and so I had to spend an hour on phone with {shudder} Tech Support. The first guy tried to tell me that it was the fault of Windows Vista™. It wasn't. I demanded a second opinion, and That Dude was a helpful MoFo, yo. Within ten minutes, we had the router configured maually from my laptop, and now both computers that are currently in use in the House of Nine™ are both DSL capable, and ready to rock at a High Rate of Fucken Speed!

We rox.. To celebrate, I downloaded this..

Scorpions - The Zoo.

I have been rocking out since then..

Ring around the Collar?

Do you remember way back when, it seemed that every laundry detergent under the sun promised to eliminate Ring Around the Collar? Where are those laundry detergents now?Because my work shirts have the worst case of RAtC. Even when freshly washed, dried, and hung in the closet, there is a RAtC so dark as to look like I haven't washed the shirts since my first day on the job. It is unfortunate.

Now, did the masses stop caring about there RAtC, and am I just alone in my desire for clean looking collars? Or is the truth closer to the fact that those detergents probably didn't do a damn thing about RAtC, and finally stopped advertising that they did? I can't remember. Back then, I was watching Transformers, and thinking to myself, "What a great live action movie that will make someday."

Damn, people...

...but I got the hottest girlfriend ever. EVER. And did I mention she is quite aw3som3 in t3h b3dr00m? Oh, yes.

Portrait of a Bad Day™

Today class, we shall discuss how a Bad Day™ operates. Bad Days™ generally follow a pattern of Bad to Worse. Spectacularly Bad Days™ can progress from Bad to Worse to "Please Shoot Me Twice in the Head."

Step-by-step, this is a Bad Day.

Step 1: We begin the previous night, or in this test case, 1:30am. Set you alarm clock to 6pm instead of 6am. Neglect to notice.

Step 2: Wake up at 5:30 am to pee, and then, despite a feeling of foreboding, lay back down, confident your alarm clock will wake you up, because, damnit, 1/2 an hour cuddling with t3h girlfriend is needed.

Step 3: Said girlfriend wakes you up at 6:45am, 15 minutes before you are due to clock in at work, which is located 30 minutes away. Do the math and scream.

Step 4: Arrive at work 15 minutes late, feeling horrible for draggin the girlfriend to Long Beach to drive you to work because your scooter will never make it fast enough.

Step 5: Find out your boat captain is the Boss of your Boss. (Vice President of a company)

Step 6: Skillfully avoid being seen by your boss while you are working, and only let him detect you when you stop to drink coffee, thus giving the impression that you are lazy (high five).

Step 7: Have a crew meeting where the specific points of topic are how to (a.)load first-class passengers, and (b.)tie up the boat in Catalina.

Step 8: Proceed to attempt to tie up boat correctly three times before succeeding.

Step 9: Completely Screw up loading of First Class Passengers

Step 10: You are in charge of all the idiots that screwed up Steps 8 & 9.*

This has been a Bad Day™. From there it can only get better, as in, due to a scheduling SNAFU, there was an extra person on the boat after the first run, of which I was scheduled to do 2. So I was able to pull rank and bail without seeming like I was bailing. I hope.



*See "Shit Rolls Downhill," but in this case, only as far as me.